About
I have had the honor of traveling the end-of-life journey with a many people. I have learned that each journey is different and they are not necessarily only sad. In fact, I learned that if you are able to ask the traveler what they have to live for, their responses might surprise you. If you are interested in having such a conversation with a loved one I, as an End-of-Life Doula, can help you to make that happen. Working with me will enable you to either have that conversation alone with your loved one, or if you feel more comfortable, I can be there with you for support and guidance.. Love, understanding and compassion will improve the emotional quality of life for everyone on this journey.
Mission
As an End-of-Life Doula, I provide support to people traveling on the end-of-life journey, as well as to their loved ones. If you or someone you know is in need of a friend who will accompany you/them on the end-of-life journey, I am that friend, and I am here to listen, support, and/or guide you/them. My goal is to bring understanding, compassion, and love to the expiring. Please reach out if you or someone you know is in need.
My hope for each individual traveler is to come to their end, never having had to sacrifice who they are and what they desired for themselves and their journey.
Questions I ask:
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“What is your understanding of the situation and its potential outcomes?
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What are your fears and what are your hopes?
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What are the trade-offs you are willing to make and not willing to make?
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And of course what is the course of action that best serves this understanding?”
Gawande, Atul. Being Mortal (p. 260). Henry Holt and Co.. Kindle Edition.
These questions can give the person in transition solace in what is to come. The questions help the departing express themselves in terms others can understand. Some travelers may not know how to express themselves, even when you ask the aforementioned types of questions. In those situations, as an End-of-Life Doula, I am here to help. The result of having this type of conversation with a traveler is for the person’s loved ones to get an understanding of the traveler’s wishes. Once they are known, it is your responsibility to do your best to respect those wishes, even if you do not agree with them or find them difficult to accomplish. The person in transition has clarity of their wishes for after their death.
How do you want to die,
or
how do you want to live?
“Death is not the enemy sir, Indifference is! You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome.”
Patch Adams
Vision
I once had the pleasure and honor of working with Patch Adams, this is a quote of his that I find helpful during this time.
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“You've got to know what you want. This is central to acting on your intentions. When you know what you want, you realize that all there is left then is time management. You'll manage your time to achieve your goals because you clearly know what you're trying to achieve in your [end-of-life travels].”